Healing Guide – The Voice of Trauma

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Knowing what abuse is and identifying it. Abuse can be very subtle. Any therapy that doesn’t talk about abuse will miss the cause. We need to know this. The body keeps the score is a good book but takes a while to read. Alternatively search for narcissistic BPD abuse, love bombing, abusive relationship recovery, trauma bond, manipulation techniques, gaslighting.
Validating the abuse that happened to you, and mourning it, and all tb losses that came with it.
Remove abusive people from your life, surround yourself with good people (also through videos, books, safe subreddits,…).
Learning to trust your gut feeling about people. Abused people had to learn to ignore their gut feeling in order to secure attachment with their parents. And it is key to re-trust it in order to be able to known when something is not ok, and not fall for further gaslighting, as well as to remove narcissists etc much faster when they try to enter our lives.
Also knowing that abuse and neglect are different things, and we may have been subjected to both.
See if parentification / emotional incest applies to you.
Learning how and why we became inauthentic and what to do.
Emotional mindfulness.
Naming and identifying your own feelings, see alexithymia.
Learning about emotions in general, see how to survive the loss of a love
Reparenting and connecting with wounded ignored abused neglected inner child
Becoming mindful of our own needs and how it’s ok to take care of them
Learn to love yourself unconditionally, self compassionate self talk
Learning about boundaries. That you might have issues with saying no.
Acknowledge that you probably feel shame because you were shamed a lot. Using self compassion to eliminate it.
A lot of patience and time.
Therapist that validates your emotions and experience, is empathetic, you connect with, makes you feel safe to express all of them without judgment. Does not push you to do things, but listens to what you need. Nothing else in a therapist matters as much as these points. Your therapist will become your safe harbor with who you can talk about all the things mentioned here, cry with, vent, mourn,…
Connecting with emotions stored in your body through yoga / somatic experiencing.
Journalling. Writing helps some people putting down what they’re feeling making their thoughts clearer. (…)